A couple of posts back I got this comment from someone who reads the blog (at least off and on)...

Tom, I've been following you on and off for some time, and I gotta tell you, you come across as so self-righteous that you actually sound worse that Scoble. You're always shaking down others' trees, with your half snide comments, and you seem like the angry boy in the back of the classroom that the cool kids ignored in school. Why not try to do something positive with your blog? You're always the critic --but never the helper

It was a good comment and I appreciated it.  I responded with an obnoxiously long reply which I won't bore you with.  But I began said reply with this...

I can see where you are coming from to an extent but I honestly don’t think you’re being fair. Except for on the "always the critic" part which your spot on about and is something I've been concerned with myself and been trying to take steps to improve.

After having a few days to reflect on the subject I have to say I was wrong.

(for the record, I'm going to start trying to post more original thoughts which aren't responses to anyone else which is what I was referring to when I said I was "trying to take steps to improve."  That's not what I was wrong about)

To me there are two types of criticism, thoughtful and thoughtless.  Thoughtless criticism, like calling someone names, is a bad thing.  It contains no thought meaning that it's intent is to harm and not correct.  Like calling someone an idiot.  There's not value to that.  It's thoughtless.

But I'm going to go out on a limb here and say flat out, thoughtful criticism is never a negative thing.  NEVER. 

To make this point I'm going to turn to politics which is where people tend to disagree most strongly.  Think back to the last negative political criticism you heard.  Now, think back to the last time you heard someone who you don't agree with politically say something ridiculous and ask yourself "would it be negative to correct that person?"

That's my point!  We allow our emotions to color what we see as negative.  If we agree with the person doing the criticizing than they're "speaking the truth" but if we disagree with them they're "being negative."  But the context of what the person is actually saying is the same in both cases.

So I say again, thoughtful criticism is not a negative thing.  It leads to clarity of thought and if that isn't helpful I don't know what is.  If people who don't agree with you don't tell you as much you miss the benefit of their insight.  The comment that inspired this post was criticism of me and it provided me with several insights that are of untold value to me.

How could that be a negative thing?

On Another Note... In the comment quoted above there was also an accusation of self-righteousness that I addressed in my original response. After thinking on it a little longer I think what the author actually meant wasn’t self-righteousness but sanctimony (a.k.a. a level of piety that is both excessive and hypocritical).

So just to address that real quickly the truth is he may be right. The problem with diagnosing sanctimony, especially in one’s self, is that it’s an affliction born of excess. Not just in the level of piety but in the hypocrisy as well (since we’re all a little hypocritical when it comes to morality so “bad hypocrisy” would have to be at a level that exceeds “normal hypocrisy”).  So excess is notoriously hard to identify because it isn't a set quantity.

The only defense I could give would be to say this: Never on this blog have I claimed to be better than anyone else. I look at situations and I try to find the life lessons inherent in those situations, as much for myself as for anyone who might be reading the entry. The very entry this comment was in response to was one called “What lists teach us about ourselves” e.g. I was including myself in the group being instructed by my own observations.

Given that I personally think an accusation of sanctimony is unfair (while again admitting it is largely a judgment call). That said, I would like to make one observation…

I have observed that there are two types of people in life. Those who can never live up to their own expectations and those who are perfectly content with themselves on a moral level (aka they may think they need to lose a few pounds or work out more but they are content with the person that they are). I’m of the former group and this blog is an expression of that constant attempt to make myself better. But if you are of the latter group and tend to assume those around you are as well then I could see how some of the posts here would seem sanctimonious.

If that perceived sanctimony was/is upsetting to some I apologize (both for before and in advance because I’m obviously going to keep doing it)